Five Bell WTAT Alarm! Our little silly feminine heads are spinning over this one. The New York Post reported in an article by Natalie O’Neill that a big Manhattan law firm is telling some of its workers to speak better, and button up their big oh-oh you-them hoot-look girls too.
Female lawyers from this firm were told in a nationally distributed memo of “career advice” to stop “giggling” and “squirming” in public and to dress modestly and most importantly, to sit down and “practice hard words” according to an article in Abovethelaw.com. [Here’s a word for you, law firm: uberf*ckwaddery.] Remember to cross your legs if you are sitting on a dais as you read. If by chance you are offended, remember that upsetting you is unintentional and a rep says one of their own staffers submitted the tips, which she found it helpful (probably leading her to stop buttering her face during mediations and to wrap a tablecloth over her stripper bra while saying “acquit me right now” and “make sure I stay tied!” in a deep more mannish controlling voice every chance she gets). Also remember that all over NYC thanks to this story, there are probably laughing beery bro's calling up this law firm to represent them just to see what their female staff must be like (half-naked dumb sluts blowing bubbles through soda straws given to them by the judge to keep them quiet?) based in this memo. Way to suicide-train your staff's professional image the truly insane way, law firm.